


When We Were Young

by wafflesandpancakes



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Gods, Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Inspired by Hadestown, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Light Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Old Gods, Sad Ending, Song: Chant II, Song: Doubt Comes In, Song: Epic III, Song: Wait for Me (reprise), Songfic, only one couple becomes happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesandpancakes/pseuds/wafflesandpancakes
Summary: Nico and Lewis' love has burned to the ground, and they try to teach George and Alex that love is worth nothing in life.
Relationships: Alexander Albon/George Russell, Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	1. Chant II

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!  
I'm kinda back, school still sucks and my high school degree exam thingies are coming closer so I really won't upload much, only when I find the time, such as now.  
I hope you enjoy this and that this all somehow makes sense!
> 
> \- waffles

_ When I was a young man like you, son, I held a woman too. Held her in my naked hands, when I was a young man. Now you know how it feels, women are as slick as eels. Woman, quicker than the asp, always slipping from your grasp. _

Nico put his hand around Alex' shoulders as they walked through his halls, showing him around. The younger man swallowed hard, clearly impressed by his surroundings, impressed by the home of the God of death. The emperor of the underworld. It was still so surreal, he had managed to get into the underworld, into the place he never thought he would go so soon, into the place he despised for his whole life.

And here he was, talking to the King of the Underworld about love-problems. Life was something weird, something you couldn't describe, something full of adventures and surprises. And while he was walking around with Nico, he knew that somewhere in this place, George was spending some time with Lewis. His fingertips tingled as he thought of his lover, wanting nothing else than holding him in his hands. His heart ached for him, his mind filled with all of the happy memories they shared.

"You know, partners are a funny thing. They don't know what they want. First, they want your love and that you put the whole world at their feet, and then they ignore you because you try to keep everything as it was when they were around. Fools. Always trying to slip right out of my hands.“

Alex looked at the man next to him, the blonde hair shimmering in the neon lights surrounding them, his black clothes clinging tightly onto his slim frame, his whole body screaming power and money. Everything Alex and George didn't have on the other side.

"But you know, a man has his ways of binding his partner to him. Take it from me, I know what I am talking about.“

_ Take it from a man no longer young, if you want to hold a woman, son, hang a chain around her throat, made of many carat gold. Shackle her from wrist to wrist with sterling silver bracelets. Fill her pockets full of stones, precious ones, diamonds. Bind her with a golden ban. Take it from an old man. _

Alex listened carefully to Nico, hanging on his lips, soaking in every word that left his mouth. It lulled him in, and even though he knew he could never afford anything like the things Nico told him about, and even though George would never let him bind him in this way, Alex couldn't stop listening. And with every word Nico said, Alex started to recognize more things about Lewis, about the things he wore and how he acted around other people:

Lewis wore a golden chain around his neck, a small cross-charm on it (which Nico, later on, would call „stupid and hideous“), and Alex had always loved how it had glistened in the warm summer sun. There had been silver bracelets around his wrists, and he knew that one had an "L“ written on it while the other had an "N“ on it. Nico loved marking his territory. Alex remembered how Lewis had gifted them small diamonds or emeralds from time to time when they had been younger, beautiful shimmering stones that had looked so big in their small hands. Apparently, they had all come from Nico. Last but not least, there was the golden ring on Lewis' hand. Nothing special, simplistic and nothing over the top. A plain and simple golden band around his ring finger. A symbol of the promise he had given Nico a long time ago.

Alex could see the equivalent on Nico's hand, as simple as Lewis' ring. A small sign of the love they had shared, of the love that seemed as if it had disappeared in the course of the years. A sign of what was then and what was now. And even if they would have wanted to, Alex knew they weren't able to take them off. Never. Because they both were too stubborn to admit their defeat.

"And what do you want to tell me with this?“, he asked as Nico pushed a door open, revealing the throne room.

"People leave you if you don't bind them to you. They won't ever stay on their own.“

* * *

_ When I was a young girl like you, sister, I was hungry too. Hungry for the underworld, when I was a young girl. Now you know how it tastes, the fruit of Mr. Hades' ways. Sister, it's a bitter wine, spit it out while you still have time. _

George listened carefully to the older one's words, to the story he was telling. And he was right, at least in a way: He should've stopped when he had had the opportunity to go, but he hadn't. He had decided to stay, give his soul to Nico, decided to stay down below. Forever. Without Alex. He had been hungry for the underworld, for the stories of money and work he had been promised, for the promise of never fearing hunger and coldness again. And Nico had lured him in, promised him the world and more. But he had tricked him. He had caught him and bound him to the underworld as he had done with Lewis before.

_ Take it from a woman of my age: Love is not a gilded cage. All the wealth within these walls will never buy the thing called love. Love was when he came to me, begging on his bended knees to please have pity on his heart and let him lay me in the dirt... _

He had known that it hadn't been love from Nico's side, it hadn't been love from his side either. Nico had seen the opportunity in him for something greater, maybe even as a possibility to make Lewis jealous, but nothing more. What broke his heart was the story Lewis was telling him about Nico, the Nico he had fallen in love with, the Nico he missed so dearly. The Nico who hadn't decided to build a wall and to turn everything into a giant factory full of more or less involuntary workers.

The picture was crystal clear in his head, Nico kneeling down in front of Lewis, the golden ring in a small box, promising him everything he could, promising him to love and adore him, the unloveable. The outcast. The bad guy. The promise of safety, if Lewis said yes, became his husband and followed him into the underworld. And George could understand why he did that. Lewis had loved Nico with all of his heart, against the will of all the other gods. They had been star-crossed lovers, not meant to be together, but they made it work and still ended up separated and full of hatred against each other.

_ I felt his arms around me then, we didn't need a wedding bed. Dark seeds scattered on the ground, the wild birds were flying around. _

It surprised him how openly Lewis spoke about the whole thing. How detailed it was when it came to that one fateful night in which his life changed so drastically. George could see it in front of him, how Lewis was eating the pomegranate, six seeds in his mouth, swallowing them as Nico came up to hug him from behind, leaving small kisses across his neck. How he lowered them to the ground, laying Lewis on his back and kissing the life out of him, exploring his body. How the pomegranate rolled out of his hand, the remaining six seeds spilling out of the fruit and scattering on the ground as Nico undressed him, revealing more and more of his skin. How the birds flew up from the trees as Nico pushed inside him, their moans waking every life around them, but they didn't care, too caught up in their love, the love of two newly married men.

"That sounds beautiful.“

Lewis stopped and turned to him. There was a gentle smile on his lips as he took his hands, looking down on them.

"It was. It was the most beautiful night I ever shared with someone. Do you know how good it can feel when a person loves and cherishes you? That was one of those moments. Your wedding night is always supposed to be the most beautiful one of your life. And it was for me.“

Lewis turned around again and continued his way through the hallways of Nico's palace, George always next to him. When he looked carefully, he could see how broken he was, how much it took a toll on him. George knew that Lewis used to be a beautiful man, he still was, but now, in the shadows of the high pillars supporting the roof, he could see the marks and wrinkles across Lewis' face. It had tired him, the whole thing, and if he was honest, George feared that he might end up like that too, caught in an unhappy relationship.

_ That's when I became his wife but that was in another life. That was in another world when I was a young girl! _

"So, how did you end up like this? Didn't you love him too?“

George looked down at the smaller man as they walked towards a giant door.

"I loved him, yes. But you know, George, he doesn't understand the concept of freedom.“ A sad sigh escaped his lips and he shook his head. "Nico wants to bind everything and everyone to him. He is afraid of being left alone. Hence the wall. Nothing comes in, nothing gets out."

They came to a halt in front of the door and Lewis seemed to hesitate, his hand resting on the door handle.

"I fell in love with a different man than he is today. It feels as if it was in another life.“

With that, he opened the door and walked inside, quickly followed by George. It was the throne room, and the king was already sitting on his throne, a small smile on his lips as he got his eyes on Lewis, who dutifully sat down next to him.

"George!"

He turned his head and looked straight into Alex' eyes, a grin forming on his lips as he ran over to him, jumping into the older one's arms. Alex held him close and sighed happily, only broken apart when Nico raised his voice.

* * *

_ Young man, I was young once too. I once sang the young man's blues. Women come and women go, get you high and get you low. One day she's hot, the next she's cold. Women are so seasonal. Women leave again and again, take it from an old man. _

"You know he isn't worth it? No one's worth it. As I said, they'll all leave you again.“

It was George who looked up to Nico, an angry expression written all over his face.

"I won't leave him!“

An emotionless laugh came from the king, his hand coming to rest on Lewis', the other man looking quite sad down onto the pair but not looking at Nico and not pulling his hand away.

"You forgot our little deal, didn't you, little songbird? I have your soul. You'll stay here forever.“

Lewis turned to him, a growl coming from him as he stared his husband down, anger in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?!“, he hissed, freeing his hand from Nico's grasp.

"He wanted a better life. I offered it to him. The life you never appreciated.“

"You're such an asshole, Nico. I regret ever marrying you.“

Alex and George watched on as the couple started fighting, swallowing hard and only moving closer together. Alex turned his head, small tears forming in his eyes. He couldn't believe that George sold his soul to the King of the underworld, that he had given up on his life up above. This was not the George he had fallen in love with. But in the end... it had been his fault, hadn't it? He hadn't paid enough attention to George and how they were living, that they didn't earn enough money to survive. He had driven George into this situation, it had been his fault.

The argument next to them had grown even louder, drawing his attention to them again. They were going at it, throwing all different kinds of things at each other, harsh words and insults, but especially the truth of how they felt, how disappointed they were in each other.

"They have forgotten the song of their love,“ he whispered, thinking that maybe only George would hear him, but the two Gods stopped fighting and Nico stared at him, a dark expression covering his soft features.

"Why do you care about any song that we have sung? Any song that we have danced to? Our song isn't trendy anymore, something else has come to replace it.“ He sounded stern and serious, and he radiated a certain coldness. "It doesn't matter anymore, anyways. The song is gone, and your little friend will stay down here.“

Silence followed his words, the two younger men were staring at the king and his consort, frozen in place. Lewis looked back and forth between them, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he turned to Nico again.

"Let him go. Let both of them go. They are too young to be down here. Alex is a good guy, and so is George. They deserve having a life up above. Together.“

Lewis' eyes caught Nico's, his face as soft as it hadn't been in a long time, and he took his hand into his hands, fingers dancing over the golden band. A smile appeared on Nico's lips as he looked down on their hands, intertwining their fingers gently before looking over at the couple in front of them.

_ I'll tell you what, young man, since my wife is such a fan, and since I'm going to count to three and put you out of your misery: One! - give me one more song, one more song before I send you Two! - to the great beyond, where nobody can hear you singing. Three! - sing a song for me. Make me laugh, make me weep! Make the king feel young again. Sing, for an old man... _

"I give you one last chance. Sing me a song that makes me feel everything I felt back then. Make me return to the time I fell in love with the most beautiful person I know.“

There was a slight blush on Lewis' cheeks, and maybe, Alex thought, maybe the love between them wasn't completely lost. He looked up to the king and nodded, looking at George who nodded too, smiling approvingly.

"Thank you, sir. I will try my best.“

And he took his guitar from behind his back, playing the first few chords, and there was a certain realization in Lewis' eyes as he recognized the song Alex was about to play.

_ the end? _


	2. Epic III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex' song seems to change the course of their love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You remember me saying I was busy with school?  
That was one day before getting sick sooo, here we go, gotta keep myself entertained while sitting at home (and ignoring my homework)

"_King of shadows, King of shades: Hades was King of the underworld_ “

Music filled the room, a song both Nico and Lewis hadn't heard in a long time, a song that came from their hearts. A song that had filled their minds when they were younger, when they had been in love. But only Lewis seemed to recognize the melody, the faint memory of what had been. Nico, on the other hand, looked confused, tilting his head slightly as he listened carefully to Alex' words.

" _ Oh, it's about me? _ “

His words made Alex freeze, stare at him nervously. Nico had said that he should sing a song that made him remember all his feelings, but he had never mentioned that he wanted to play a role in it. That the song would be about him. Alex bit his lip and looked down, the melody stopped, the halls fell silent again. Lewis, his fingers still intertwined with Nico's, gave his husband a pointed look before turning to Alex with a soft smile.

" _ Go on... _ “

That and George's encouraging smile filled Alex with pride and with a smile on his lips, his fingers continued to play the music, the song of the two men in front of him. A song of love, of fate, of something that was gone, but also of something that wasn't forgotten. That would never be forgotten. It was the song of the tale of Nico and Lewis; King and consort, death and spring, coldness and warmth. Two souls so different from each other, but still connected in a way not many seemed to understand.

" _ But he fell in love with a beautiful lady, who walked up above in her mother's greenfield. He fell in love with Persephone, who was gathering flowers in the light of the sun. _ “

* * *

When Lewis was walking through his family's garden, everybody's eyes were laying on him. How he danced through the flowers, surrounded by warmth and spring, humming a sweet melody his mother had taught him when he had been younger. A song of spring and nature and everything one could love, one could strife for. Happiness in its purest form.

He had met Nico on one of those walks. Had felt his eyes lingering on him as he was picking some flowers for his mother, as a gift for her greatness and beauty. For everything, she had given him. It was then when he felt the god's eyes on him, piercing through his body. His father had told him about Nico, the God of death, King of the underworld. How everything was dark and scary and cold down there, where people worked and worked and worked without a break, trying to sort out all the lost souls that filled his halls, his kingdom. Lewis had never seen him, though. He had imagined him as old, ugly, with rotten skin and dirty clothes. Not as a beautiful man with golden hair and a slight tan, wearing the finest clothing he had ever seen. He was so different from what he had imagined, and Lewis had felt himself being weirdly attracted to him, walking closer to him without having to tell his feet so.

That was when their dance had begun. Back and forth, left and right, trying to figure out what they wanted from each other and in love. That was when the song had started. The song that had accompanied them for so long until they stopped singing it.

* * *

" _ And I know how it was because he was like me: A man in love with a woman. _ “

Alex' gaze wandered to George who had tears in the corner of his eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to walk over and brush them away. He didn't want to see him cry, not because of this, not here where everything was sad in general. But he couldn't. He had to finish the song he had started. So that they would have a future together, up above, not in Nico's kingdom.

" _ Singing la la la la la la la.... La la la la la la la... _ “

The air was thick around them, the eerie atmosphere tense and cold. Alex didn't dare to look at Nico, but when he did, he could see how the god was bound to his seat, an unreadable look in his eyes, cold and serious, but also somehow warm and open. As if the memories were coming back, even though he tried to hold them back with all his might.

" _ Where'd you get that melody? _ “

" _ Let him finish, Nico. _ “

The musician looked back and forth between the couple as he continued to play the soft melody, the one that triggered memories and emotions in their heads. While Nico looked stern and annoyed, trying to hide his feelings, Lewis' expression was open and he was about to tear up, a shaky smile on his lips. It was no wonder that the God of Spring showed his emotions more than the God of Death.

" _ And you didn't know how, and you didn't know why, but you knew that you wanted to take her home. You saw her alone there, against the sky. It was like she was someone you'd always known. _ “

* * *

Nico had never seen anyone as beautiful as Lewis. No one was as beautiful and mesmerizing as him, how he danced through the garden and through life, how he laughed and giggled and played with the animals and the children, how he was everything he wasn't. The funny person, the bright person, someone who was the epitome of life and love. Not of death and shadows and shades. Maybe that was why he was attracted to him. Because he had everything he didn't have.

"Hey, beautiful.“

Lewis looked up, straight into the eyes of the God he had been watching for a while now. Who had been watching him for a while now. A smile ghosted over his lips, and he looked up to him while batting his eyes.

"Hello, sir.“

They both knew that Lewis was playing a fool game. That he wasn't as coy as he pretended to be. They both had a history with different kinds of people, about sharing the night in other's beds, there were rumors about how they were as lovers, there was no need to play shy or virginal in front of each other. But still, Lewis looked so innocent and naive that it put some kind of guilt in Nico's heart.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?“

The smile on Lewis' lips changed, and there was something playful in his eyes.

"Seems like I have now.“

" _ It was like you were holding the world when you held her, like yours were the arms that the whole world was in. And there were no words for the way that you felt, so you opened your mouth and you started to sing: La la la la la la la... _ “

They were laying in his bed, trying to catch their breath, arms and legs tangled and pleased smiles on their lips. A warmth was spreading through Nico's body, coming from his heart, and he felt it in his legs, his feet, his arms and in his fingertips. His heart ached at the thought that Lewis might leave again soon, he wanted nothing more than to keep him in his arms, keep him safe. He felt complete when he had him in his arms, the whole world stopped moving, everything stood still, because he held the world in his arms. He couldn't imagine anything better, anything coming remotely close to this feeling.

"What are you thinking about?“

Lewis' voice tore him out of his thoughts, and he gave the other god a small smile, hands carding through the dark curls. He bent down and kissed him, lips moving lazily against each other, not needing to hurry. Taking their time. Lewis' hands started to wander across his body again, grabbing his ass. There was a satisfied smile when Nico let out a quiet moan.

"And?“

"I thought about you and your beauty. Your wit. Your charm.“

The older one laughed, cuddling closer, closing his eyes.

"You old flirt.“

There was adoration in his words, feelings Nico couldn't quite name. Feelings Nico had never thought about, feelings he had never wanted to admit. It didn't feel right in his position to be in love, to ask someone to come to the underworld with him, but he couldn't ignore the way he felt around Lewis, how he made everything feel easier. As Lewis seemed to slowly drift into sleep, Nico still carding through his hair, the King of the underworld parted his lips, a melody spilling from them.

"La la la la la la la...“

* * *

" _ La la la la la la la... _ “

Nico swallowed hard as the well-known melody fell from his lips, hanging in the air after being released. He closed his eyes as if he was in pain, clearly overwhelmed by everything he was feeling. Alex took it as a sign to continue, knowing that he had the king's undivided attention, that he was a step closer to the goal. He took a deep breath, his fingers continuing to play the melody, and he closed his eyes to concentrate on his following lines. Hoping that they would have an even bigger impact on the king than all the other words before.

" _ And what has become of the heart of that man, now that the man is King? What has become of the heart of that man, now that he has everything? _ "

"He has become a monster..."

Nico's words, quietly whispered, cut through the air, making everyone shiver. They knew he was right, they knew his behavior wasn't the best. They had known that he had become a monster before he had known. This time, there was no intention in his words to stop him. It felt more as if there was a silent beg for more, for him to continue, to keep singing. Maybe this was some kind of self-harm, a way to hurt himself. Maybe this was needed to make him understand his mistakes.

" _ The more he has, the more he holds. The greater the weight of the world on his shoulders. See how he labors beneath that load, afraid to look up, and afraid to let go. So he keeps his head low, he keeps his back bending. He's grown so afraid that he'll lose what he owns. But what he doesn't know is that what he's defending... Is already gone. _ “

Alex couldn't see how Nico opened his eyes to look at Lewis. He couldn't see the tears in his eyes, the silent begging for forgiveness, the hidden embarrassment, the regret and the worries of having lost him completely. He couldn't see Lewis' soft expression, how Nico's tears were mirrored in his eyes, how he lifted his hands to touch his cheek. He couldn't see the innocent love between them, a reminder of what had been, how the old flame of love seemingly lit up again. And he couldn't see the way Nico put his hand on Lewis' before pulling him closer, their lips meeting for a single kiss full of promises and hope.

" _ Where is the treasure inside of your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his arms outstretched to the woman he loves with nothing to lose? Singing la la la la la la la... _ “

Alex opened his eyes to the following silence. He had stopped playing, and the world seemed to stand still, everyone frozen in their place. Nico and Lewis were still looking at each other, hands holding onto each other, love, fear, nervousness, anxiety between them. He watched how Nico rested his forehead against Lewis', closing his eyes as his hand clutched tighter around Lewis' hand, a shaky sigh escaping him before his voice sounded as clear as never before as he started singing.

" _ La la la la la la la... _ "

Lewis smiled, leaning into the soft touch. He joined in, letting the melody that once had reigned his heart break free, letting the old song take over.

" _ La la la la la la la... _ "

While the two gods drowned in their memories, Alex' eyes locked with George, both smiling happily. And for a moment, they thought everything would end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- nothing of this has ever happened and is purely based on my imagination (and on greek mythology) -


	3. Wait for Me (reprise) / Doubt Comes In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every song comes to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter.  
This was never intended to be a multi-chapter fic, this is a surprise for me too.  
Also, most of you will hate me for this ending. Probably.  
We'll see.

„I'll give you one last chance.“

Nico's voice cut through the hall. Alex' face lit up, a big smile on his face, as George ran into his arms, long limbs flinging himself around his body. Nico waited for them to calm down, still holding Lewis' hand.

„I'll let you out of here. Under on condition.“ He looks at them closely, lifting an eyebrow at their confused faces. „You,“ his finger pointed at Alex, „will walk in front. And you,“ his finger wandered to George, „will follow behind. If you turn around to see if he's following you, he'll stay with me in all eternity.“

The couple stared at him in disbelief, but as their hands found together, new-found courage running through them.

„We can do that.“

„Are you sure?“

Nico tilted his head before nodding, a simple smile on his lips.

„Then go. Make your wait out. But don't say I didn't warn you.“

* * *

„ _ Think they'll make it? _ “

There was concern in Lewis' voice. Nervousness. Something unsure. He liked Alex, he loved George. George reminded him of himself, of the time he had fallen in love with Nico. This kind of innocence. How naive he was. They had so much in common.

„ _ I don't know, _ “ Nico sighed, his eyes following the couple as they made their way out of his kingdom. „I do trust Alex to follow the rule, but I know that he'll struggle. Internally. His mind is not as strong as he would like to believe.“

Lewis' hand held tighter onto him, his eyes stopping to follow the two humans just to look at his husband.

„ _ Nico, you let them go. _ “

There was no harshness to his words, no hard feelings, only a slight hint of confusion and fear. Fear that something might go wrong. That they wouldn't conquer the challenge.

„ _ I let them try. _ “

It was true, he let them try. It was easier to let them try than to hold George down here against his will. If they failed, it wasn't his fault. It was all Alex' fault because he didn't trust George enough. But maybe, he also let them go because they reminded him of them. Of course they did, the four of them were so similar that it was nearly disturbing. Maybe he wanted them to be happy because he wanted to let them experience the love he had felt when he had fallen in love with Lewis.

„ _ And how 'bout you and I? Are we gonna try again? _ “

„ _ It's almost spring. We'll try again next fall. _ “

Their eyes locked and Nico smiled sadly, clutching onto his hands. There was a silent promise to let the season get on track again, the silent promise to not get him home early and to hold him trapped longer than he wanted to. That he was okay with sharing Lewis with the world up above. Lewis smiled his smile, the beautiful one he hadn't seen in so long, the happy one, and pressed a small peck onto his lips.

„ _ Wait for me? _ “

The look in Nico's eyes told Lewis more than any words could ever do.  _ Always. Forever. Until you return again. _ But it wasn't what he said. He didn't need to. So he moved closer, returned the kiss Lewis had given him before, whispering into his ear.

„ _ I will. _ “

* * *

_ Who are you? Who do you think you are? Who are you? Who are you to lead her? Who are you to lead them? Who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man? _

Alex closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves. He could do this. He could lead George out of this hell and into the world up above. They would have their happy end, they would have a future together. This was only his mind playing tricks on him, fooling him into believing something else. This was only one of Nico's trials. He could do this,  _ they _ could do this.

„ _ La la la la la la la... _ “

Hope. He needed hope and courage. He was able to do this. He just had to keep walking. One foot in front o the other. Let nothing disturb you. Keep walking. You're doing this for him. You can do this.

„ _ La la la la la la la... _ “

They were nearly there. Not long until he could finally hold George in his arms again, kiss him, hold him close. Not long. Only a few steps more. Only a few couple of meters, following the way, following the street he had used to get into Nico's kingdom. He knew this route, he knew it by heart, he had promised himself he would walk this way out again, together with George. And he did. George was behind him. He was. He hoped he was.

_ Doubt comes in, the wind is changing. Doubt comes in, how cold it's blowing. Doubt comes in and meets a stranger walking on a road alone. Where is she? Where is she now? Doubt comes in. _

Was he still behind him? He couldn't hear any steps, his own ones were too loud, too overpowering in their sound. He wasn't following him, was he? He couldn't be, he would've heard him, he would've talked to him, he wasn't there, he... he was alone.

No, no he wasn't. George had to be behind him, he just had to be! George would never leave him alone, never in his life, George wasn't one to give up. George trusted him, so he had to trust George. He had to. There was no other way around, they wouldn't be the trial otherwise.

But... was George truly behind him?

„ _ Who am I? Where do I think I'm goin'? Who am I? Why am I all alone? Who do I think I am? Who am I to think that she would follow me into the cold and dark again? _ “

George would've been dumb to follow him. Up above, he had nothing. Nothing to promise him, no glory, no money, no gold, no stones and diamonds, only coldness and darkness and poverty. It was warm down here, he had work down here, he could earn money. Down here, everything was so much better than anything Alex could've offered him up above. And still, he couldn't hear his steps. There was nothing, only his own feet stepping onto the hard ground as he continued making his way to the end of the tunnel, to the world up above.

_ Where is she? Where is she now? _

Is he still behind him? Is he still following every step he's taking? Would he still be there if he turned around? Of course, he wouldn't. It would be dumb, this still was one of Nico's trials, he was destined to lose. They weren't meant to survive the road together.

„ _ Alex? Are you listening? I am right here! And I will be to the end. And the coldest night of the coldest year comes right before the spring! _ “

But Alex couldn't hear George. He was too far into his thoughts, too far in his own anxiety, not knowing if he was behind him. If he had followed him. His fear drowned everything out, pressing all the air out of his lungs as he walked and walked and walked. It never seemed to end. This was unnecessary. This wasn't intended. Keep walking. Keep walking even though he isn't following you.

„ _ Who am I? Who am I against him? Who am I? Why would he let me win? Why would he let her go? Who am I to think that he wouldn't deceive me just to make me leave alone? _ “

He never had a chance against Nico. Nico had everything he didn't have, everything he strived to be. Everything George needed in his life. Everything he needed to survive and to be happy. And Nico wasn't one to give up anyway. Nico would never have given up a beautiful boy like George, not when his relationship with Lewis was so strained and about to break any moment again. He may have led them closer together, but it still didn't mean that it would hold. Nico would love to have a boy like George at his side. And who would blame him? George would make a pretty accessory.

„ _ Is this a trap that's bein' laid for me? Is this a trick that's being played on me? I used to see the way the world could be but now the way is all I see and where is she? Where is she now? _ “

The way didn't change. It was dark and cold, so much like the future that laid in front of them. And it didn't seem to end. Step by step he fought his way forward, and step by step he couldn't hear George behind him. Was he still there? Or had he given up, returned to Nico's warm and welcoming arms? There was no chance that he was still behind him. There was no chance that George was following a loser like he was, a loser with no real job, with no real future, with no money to spend and no food to eat. There was no possibility that George would love him so much that he would follow him into a worse future than what would've awaited him in Nico's kingdom.

„ _ Alex, you are not alone. I am right behind you, and I have been all along. The darkest hour of the darkest night comes right before the- _ “

George stopped talking and stared right into Alex' eyes. He could see the fear in his eyes, the fear that he wouldn't have followed him. But the fear was soon forgotten, blown away and replaced by happiness. George had followed him. A smile spread on Alex' face, happy and relieved. He had followed him! He hadn't turned away, he hadn't stopped, he had trusted in him! Alex took his hands and squeezed them, eyes big and smile wide.

„ _ It's you. _ “

But there wasn't the smile on George's lips that he hoped would be. No, the smile was sad, and George freed his hands from Alex', averting his eyes shortly before looking at him again. Straight into his eyes. And Alex could see the pure sadness that seemed to drip from his eyes, straight into his mind. The sadness that fell from them like the seeds of the pomegranate had done when Lewis had bitten into it.

„ _ You're early. _ “

So many things were in his mind at that moment, thoughts flooding his brain, mingling around it, running in circles again and again and again.  _ I needed to see you, I wanted to see you, I needed to know that I wasn't walking this road alone and for no reason. I wanted to know that you trusted me. I needed this to ground myself. _

But he didn't say any of it. He said three words, three words that were true, three words of honesty. Three words that had been crystal clear in his head from the beginning, three words that would always be true, in all eternity.

„ _ I missed you. _ “

And with that, George smiled the last time, this time the soft and beautiful smile which Alex loved so much, before he blurred, becoming one with his surroundings, disappearing right in front of Alex' eyes.

The realization hit him.

He had failed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- this is my pure imagination, nothing of this has ever happened. GEORGE RUSSEL IS FINE -

**Author's Note:**

> \- this is a work of fiction and has never happened in real life -


End file.
